Healthy relationships

We All Have Arguments – How Do You Solve Yours?

In Essex we believe that family stability is the key to delivering the best outcomes for children and young people, and that good parental relationships (whether you are together or not) are at the heart of that stability.

Arguments and conflict between parents occur for a number of reasons and when they are managed and resolved there are few, if any, lasting effects on the relationship or on children.  However, where arguments are frequent, intense, and poorly resolved, children can be affected in many different ways; they may feel responsible, become withdrawn, sad or angry.  These effects can have many impacts including their ability to form and maintain healthy relationships of their own.

Often, changing small things or responding in a different way during arguments can help. If you feel there are specific things that you would like some guidance on or are just curious about how other people manage their relationships, then visit Click Relationships. Here, you will find resources, tips, articles, and blogs that can guide you through some of the trickiest relationship issues.

Healthy relationship questionnaire

One Plus One – online digital courses

If you are a parent living in Essex, Southend, or Thurrock you can access online digital courses for free. There are three courses to choose from:

  • Me, You and Baby Too is for new and expectant parents.
  • Arguing better is for parents who want help with stress and arguing.​
  • Getting it Right for Children is for separating or separated parents.

On the One Plus One page, choose the Central England map and then Essex county. You will be able to access the courses via Edge, Chrome, Firefox and Safari.

Is it more than arguments and conflict?

We all have arguments and disagreements with our partners (and ex partners) or family and most of the time we can sort things out or may need a little bit of guidance or support to help us. Ask yourself ‘how does this relationship make me feel?’ Do you feel sad, frightened, exhausted, lonely, down, unloved, loved too much, suffocated or a hundred other feelings that you can’t quite put into words.

Some relationships (whether this is with a current partner, ex-partner or family member) can be abusive and sometimes we don’t realise it. There are lots of organisations that you can speak to in confidence that will help you to better understand if your relationship is abusive and what support is available.  The National Women’s Aid Organisation have some prompt questions and guidance on their website that will help with this, or alternatively if you need to speak to someone in Essex, you can visit the Compass website or phone them on 0330 333 7 444.

Useful information/contacts

  • Contact Citizens Advice for issues relating to; housing, law, benefits, work etc
  • Family Lives offer support and guidance to parents regarding a variety of things; pregnancy and birth, school, play, behaviour, health, bullying etc. They have a website with a forum for parents and also have a helpline if you need to speak to someone on 0808 800 2222
  • The Money Advice Service offers guidance on all things finance related; debt and borrowing, budget management and saving, renting and mortgages, divorce and separation etc If you want to speak to someone they offer a web chat or you can phone them on 0800 138 7777
  • Relate are a national organisation that offers support and guidance to individuals and families around their relationships. They have counselling services, online resources and also offer a web chat.
  • The Change Project is committed to preventing conflict in relationships in whatever form that takes. They provide counselling which addresses sexual problems, enables young people to develop healthy balanced relationships and deliver training such as domestic violence perpetrator programmes.
  • If you are a professional and interested in the reducing parental conflict work in Essex then please email

Livewell Partners